away from home / part 2 "listen to your heart"

A personal note.

Fun fact: Before my trip to O'ahu earlier this month, I hadn't taken a true vacation in 17 years.

Aside from going back to visit family in Canada or hopping in the car for a mini-roadtrip to Pittsburgh or DC, our family hadn’t traveled anywhere. Part of it was (and is) cost. We're a single income household and very conscientious about where and how we spend. The other part is desire. Or lack thereof. There's something about this stage of life we're in (i.e. navigating careers, parenting, marriage, friendships, homeownership, and more) that's shied us from getting away.

Travel restrictions during the pandemic definitely invoked more fear and anxiety around flying for me. I remember having to return to Canada, unexpectedly, in December 2021, and being absolutely terrified about getting stuck en route because the required documents I provided (and quadruple checked) were unacceptable. Having young children also ramps up my apprehension, especially when my husband or I travel alone. I know that's a natural parent worry, but with us living so far from extended family, it’s become harder for my heart to handle.

If I think further back, though, my desire to travel waned even earlier. From 2010 through 2011, my husband and I lived apart to follow our dream careers. He began a postdoctoral fellowship in Maryland, while I remained in Canada to attend The Art Institute of Vancouver’s accelerated interior design program. We only saw each other 8 times total. I couldn't wait for each reunion and completely came undone when it was time to part again. We knew that period would one day seem like a blip, and I'm so happy to say it now does. However, it unknowingly left a deep, consuming urge to be still for a while. To build a space for us, where we could simply be and feel at home.

That "at home" feeling is what’s kept us relatively still. Transforming where you live into a home you love is a process...physically, mentally, and emotionally. We lived in six apartments over nine years before settling into our first and current house. Through trial and error, we maximized every square inch of those spaces to find what felt good, right, and comfortable at the time. When we moved into our house, that experimentation paired with my professional design knowledge and skills helped us settle in faster. It also gave us the confidence to be more discerning about design or organizing upgrades, not to simply better how our home looks but to better how we live in and outside of it.

That effort has paid off. Home feels familiar and inviting. It supports everyday needs while making room for growth. It holds objects of purpose and reflects the personalities of those living there. It's physically safe and emotionally open for everyone in it to be who they are and work through hard things without judgement or shame. There’s no other place in the world like it. Being "home" is something you have to experience for yourself. You'll know when it happens. And when it does, you may never want to leave!

Ever traveled to a beautiful place and still love your home so much more?

With the exception of Hawaii, I honestly haven't had much interest in exploring far off places. I'm amazed by friends and family who have vacation goals and budgets planned out years in advance, yet I'm not envious or feel that I'm missing out by not doing it, too. I was fortunate to backpack through Europe in my twenties and visit my parents' home island of Mauritius five times. I celebrated one Christmas in Montreal, trained in Toronto and Ottawa for my master's, and enjoyed many childhood vacations in British Columbia and Alberta. That's a lot! Undoubtedly, there’s more globe to explore. Right now, neither my husband or I have the bug to travel. And that's okay.

Whether you're a frequent flyer or habitual homebody like me, listen to your heart. Like your interior space, only YOU know what feels good, right, and comfortable to do. For us, focusing on our home, family, and the community around us is what we're into and just embracing. So knowing yourself,

would you rather take a vacation or staycation?

I believe the hardest part with either option is making it a true BREAK, where daily norms pause and you feel obligation-free the entire time. THAT I will sign up for anywhere! If you have tips on how to make that mental shift, I'd love to learn! Share your insight in the Comments below, and I hope you make time to getaway from the everyday and take time for you this summer.

Always,